On the Road Again: How to Survive a Derby Road Trip

We’re in the height of derby season, and what does that mean?  Derby road trips!  In fact, I’m headed out on one myself (Quebec City, here we come!).

Derby road trips are amazing.  They’re fun, they’re a great way to bond with your teammates (as Joy Collision says shared biological experiences bond a team like nothing else), and they’re a chance to have wicked adventures.

They’re also a chance to be trapped in a car for 8+ hours with girls that you see 3-4 times a week, along with their cases of stinky gear, trying to navigate to oftentimes hard-to-find arenas.  Hm, interesting predicament.  Chance for awesome fun – absolutely!  Chance to be cranky and sick of each other by the time you get there – yes ma’am!

So, how to you survive, nay, dominate a derby road trip?

1.)  Drive/Room with like-minded people (but don’t let that stop you from driving/rooming with new friends too.

It’s important to fill your car and/or hotel room with people that won’t make you crazy.  That’s not to say that driving with girls you don’t know will be a bad experience.  Often some of my best trips were with girls I knew very little, since being trapped in a car together forced us to get to know each other and find common ground (other than derby).  If you want to get to bed early, try not to be in the party room.  If you want to make sure to hit the road bright and early the day after your game, make sure your car-mates are on board.

2.) Have a schedule, but be open to unexpected fun.

I’m sort-of Type A.  I like to have everything organized all of the time, so I like to run a pretty tight ship when it comes to my road trips.  I have audiobooks on hand if the conversation lags (silent car for hours on end, not fun, trust me),  I have car games to play when stuck in traffic, and I try to plan my rest stops as best I can in advance.  Stuffy, right?  Yep.  And I know this about myself.  So, that’s why, for me, it’s important to remember that if we pass something cool or exciting, it’s okay to spend a bit of time there.  The only thing you *really* have to do on a derby road trip is get to the arena on time – so allow yourself time for unexpected adventures.  They’re often the best part of your trip.

3.) Bring snacks and a cooler/Check out local restaurants in advance.

I like to eat pretty healthily (as best I can).  I track what I eat.  Not having agency in my food choices freaks me out a bit, so I like to have healthy options along the way.  Traveling needn’t be a reason to completely derail your nutritional plan – and derby girls should try to eat like the athletes they are.  I research cool restaurants in my destination city before I leave, and I check out their menus.  I keep a cooler with water and snacks in it for the ride.  Having a solid plan helps you stick to your healthy habits.

4.) Keep the trash talk to a minimum.

Yep, where there’s derby there is drama.  But that doesn’t mean that you need to talk about it for the whole trip.  Instead of spending all of your down time getting riled up about the things that bother you about your league/your leaguemates/the team you’re going to play/the refs/etc., talk about what’s awesome about your league/your team/the refs.  Talk about strategy, and what you need to do to be even more awesome – both before and after the game.    Talk about things that aren’t derby so you don’t burn out.  Getting down on the things that irk you will only make the trip feel longer.

5.) Wash your filthy gear.

4+ skaters, 4+ gear bags, sweaty bout, heat of summer.  Blerg.  Wash your gear before you leave so that at least the ride there is pleasant.  Your teammates noses will thank you.

6.) Finally, pack smart. 

I was a Girl Guide, so I’m always prepared.   Here’s what I pack:

• Uniform, gear, tools, tape, sharpie, scissors, extra helmet covers, the usual stuff
• Clothes, but not really many of them, since most non-drive time will be spent in an arena and trunk space is at a premium
• Change of wheels (for floor variety) or vinegar/rosin
• Snacks and a cooler (for the car and the hotel)
• Cash (for buying merch and cool stuff along the way)
• A bathing suit (most hotels have pools or hot tubs)
• My own pillow (I hate hotel pillows, they are way too squooshy)
• Phone Charger (and phone)

Derby trips are fantastic, they often end up being the best derby memories that you create.   Remember to take pictures.  Remember to respect your teammates.  Any tips I’ve missed?  I’d love to hear from you.

Have fun derby trippin’!

I would totally go on a trip with these guys.

Game Face

We have a big game this Saturday.  A BIG game.  A game my team has been preparing to win for years.  As such, I thought a pre-game tip was in order.

So we’re clear, my team LOVES smiling.  We’re all sort of hippies, who like to bake and get along and throw theme parties and all that good stuff.

This is our typical face:

Photo courtesy of David Crane

In researching how to beat our rivals, I came across this interesting study, which I think has carry-over into derby. Two recent researchers studied the images of MMA fighters and their win records. Those smiling in their pre-fight meet-up were more likely to lose the match.

The researchers, Michael Kraus and Teh-Way David Chen, had coders who were unaware of the purpose of the study, look for smiles and smile intensity in photographs of 152 fighters in 76  UFC pre-bout face-offs. Data on the fights was then obtained from official UFC statistics.

The researchers wanted to test the idea that, in the pre-fight context, smiles are an involuntary signal of submission, just like teeth-baring is in animals.  Just like they predicted, the more fighters smiled, the more likely they were to lose.  Fighters with neutral facial expressions were more likely to dominate the following day’s match.

Hmmm, so maybe the smiling is not so much a tool that helps keep us loose and relaxed, as an unconscious show of nerves.

Perhaps not surprisingly, smaller fighters smiled more often than larger fighters.  I might be what you call a “smaller fighter”.

Building on the initial data,  Kraus and Chen asked 178 online, non-experts to rate the aggression and physical dominance of the same fighter either smiling or expressionless in a pre-match face-off.  Smiling fighters were consistently rated as less dominant.  The follow-up data suggests that not only is smiling before competition a subconscious signal of submission, it’s one that your opponent can pick up on.

That’s tough.  As I said, I love smiling.  But, as far as this game is concerned, I love winning more.  So, on the track the only face you’re going to see is this one:

Photo courtesy of David Crane

But before you put your lovely smile entirely on the shelf in the name of derby dominance, here’s a follow-up:  You need that smile to better recover from stress.

Like I said in my last post, we’ve got cursing to help us stand the pain of the game during the bout, neutral expressions to demonstrate our physical prowess pre-bout – what about post-bout?

Post-bout, put those pearly whites on display.

In an research report, by Tara Kraft and Sarah Pressman (2012) studied 169 college students.  They hooked them up to a heart rate monitor, and had them spend two minutes doing a difficult task, using their non-dominant hand to trace a star-shaped design without going off a provided outline, using only a mirror image to guide them, having been given unrealistic predictions of accuracy.  They also made participants put their hands in ice-cold water (what is it with scientists and these water tests?).  Stressful, right?

Here’s the meat of the experiment – The participants were divided into groups: Some forcing their faces intro neutral with chopsticks, some forcing mouth-only smiles with chopsticks, and some forcing Duchenne smile (both mouth and eyes) with chopsticks. Duchenne smiles are generally regarded as “genuine” smiles.  Within the “smiling” groups, half were told they were supposed to be smiling, half were just told how to position their faces.

Regardless of their awareness, smiling participants returned to their pre-stress heart rate more quickly than those with neutral expressions, and the Duchenne group recovered slightly more quickly than the mouth-only group. If you’re looking for a more complete recovery after an exhausting bout, make sure to smile it up.

What did I learn from all of this reading?  Keep your game face on.  It actually does make a difference.  I liken it to walking into a room with your power stance (neutral spine and pelvis, arms relaxed and by your sides, feet shoulder width apart).  When you carry yourself with power, in your body, in your face; you will feel more powerful.

In derby, we can use all the confidence boosters we can find.  Returning to neutral face is an easy one to employ, and one that you can use to reset after each jam.  Bad call?  Nasty hit?  Miss an obvious play?  Let it go, and clear your face.  Make it a routine, and before you know it, those tough moments won’t phase you quite so much.

Time to get your game face on.

Smiling – save it for the afterparty.

Here is my after-party face:

Photo courtesy of Nick H.

F**king Derby!: The Science of Sport and Cursing

Sometimes, in derby, in the heat of the moment, we say bad words.

Sometimes to our opponents, sometimes to our teammates, and sometimes, even sometimes, to the refs. And sometimes we feel bad that we lost control of our mouths like that.

But what if it wasn’t our fault that we had momentary trucker mouth?

What if it was the fault OF SCIENCE!

Of late, I’ve been listening to an audiobook called Drop Dead Healthy by A.J. Jacobs, it’s awesome, go read it. In the book, he talks about a study wherein cursing increases pain tolerance. This is my kind of study. Obviously, my mind went straight to all of the cursing that happens in roller derby, and that it just might be that science is making us profane.

A study was conducted by Richard Stephens and Claudia Umland, where college students were recruited to put their hands into buckets of ice-cold water.  Some were allowed to repeat a curse word of their choice, one that they might use if they hit their thumb with a hammer, others were only permitted to say a non-curse word. 73% of those who were permitted profanity were able to withstand the stimulus longer (31 full seconds!) than those who weren’t.  They had the groups switch words, the results stayed the same – cursers were better able to withstand the pain and their perception of the pain intensity was lowered.  These results replicated the results of a study that Stephens had conducted in 2009.

“Swearing increases your pain tolerance,” says Dr. Stephens, Senior Lecturer in Psychology at Keele University and lead author of the study.  Uttering expletives engages the endogenous opioid mechanisms, the brain’s natural pain-relieving chemicals.  This process is part of the body’s “fight or flight” response.

The results suggest that cursing is more of a reflex than a choice, that using a curse word  serves as an alarm bell to the body.  When study participants used expletives, their heart rates were consistently higher than when they were repeating non-obscene control words — a physiological response consistent with fight or flight.  “In swearing, people have an emotional response, and it’s the emotional response that actually triggers the reduction of pain,” says Stephens,

“Our research suggests that swearing is a useful part of language that can help us express strong emotions or react to high pressure situations.”

Steven Pinker, a Harvard psychologist, thinks humans are hardwired to swear cathartically (which is different from swearing artistically) .   If you step on a dog or cat’s tail, it will yelp.  “Swearing probably comes from a very primitive reflex that evolved in animals,” Pinker says. “In humans, our vocal tract has been hijacked by our language skills, so instead of barking out a random sound, we articulate our yelp with a word colored with negative emotion.”

Now here’s the thing; in the study, if you were a regular potty-mouth, you didn’t get the same benefits from being allowed to curse during the study. Just like any other opioid, you can build up a tolerance.  Those who swore just few times a day doubled the amount of time they could withstand the ice water when allowed to swear.   On the other hand, those with the highest levels of everyday swearing (max. 60 swear words per day), did not show any benefit when permitted to curse.  Overuse  “blunts [swear words] of their power when you do need them. You should save them for just the right occasions.”  says Pinker.

Whether on the track, or being cut-off in traffic, choose those choice words sparingly.

So, if you’re having a tough jam, and you’ve just gotten taken out by an opposing blocker’s massive strike – let those f-bombs fly!  Your brain will release the chemicals you need to keep at it, and your tolerance for the pain will be momentarily improved.

This study is awesome news for derby skaters – not only does swearing bulk up our pain tolerance in the heat of the game, we can’t even be blamed for doing it because we are physiologically built to do so.

Take that, ref!  No two-minute penalty for me!

photo courtesy of Joe Mac

Science is awesome.

Want to learn more about why we swear?

Steve Pinker, who pretty much has the best job in the world, lays it out for you in this fascinating two-part video.  If you have 20 spare minutes, it’s well worth a watch:

References:

http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1913773,00.html

BALLS!

Tonight, I am going to a dinner party.

An epic dinner party.

Where all the food will be shaped like balls.

My derby team, the Venus Fly Tramps,  likes to throw theme parties.  Each holiday season, we host the epic, Trampmas:

We’ve also hosted such events as: Cinco De Trampo, Tramp Camp, and so on.  Joy Collision, in a bootcamp that I attended, said that the key to a strong team is “shared biological events” like travelling, sleeping, and eating.  Tramps got that shiz covered.

Our dinner parties are traditionally ridiculous orgies of *mostly* healthy food.

As such, I wanted to share some of the balls that I’ve concocted for the evening.  Healthy ball bites are easy, often delicious, and good when you’re on the go but still want to eat like a champ.

For the nut-lovers:  Peanut Butter Raisin Balls

• 1/2 c. peanut butter (or almond butter) (I used smooth pb)
• 1/2 c. rolled or quick oats
• 2-3 Tbsp honey (I mostly just put in honey to taste)
• 1/2 c. raisins (plus extra raisins for raisin-y goodness)

Mix by hand at room temperature.  Ball up.  Freeze or refrigerate at least one hour prior to serving.

For the choco-ladies: Brownie Balls (Slim’s contribution, since he is on a date kick these days).  These can be found on pretty much any paleo recipe site named “Paleo Brownie Bites” or “Fudge Babies”.

• 1-1/3 cup pitted dates
• 1 tsp vanilla
• 4 tbsp unsweetened cocoa powder
• 1 cup raw pecans/almonds/cashews/walnuts
• Chopped almonds, for rolling in (the balls, not you)
• Flaked sea salt, for topping

Process your nuts first, so that they are chunky and small, but not dust.  Put everything excluding nuts in food processor.  Mix nuts in by hand.  Ball up.  Roll in delicious topping.  Freeze or refrigerate at least one hour prior to serving.

Basically, you can make these taste like whatever you want: Take dates – add vanilla – add a flavour: cocoa, mint extract, almond extract, etc. – add chopped up nuts (and raisins, craberries, cacao nibs, etc) – ball up – roll in something: nuts, coconut, sea salt, more chocolate.  Endless possibilities!

and my last ball: Thanksgiving Balls (so named because they taste like pumpkin and I am thankful they turned out so awesome).  I found this recipe here.

• 1 banana, mashed
• 1/2 c. canned pumpkin puree
• 1 c. quick oats
• honey to taste
• 1/2 tsp. cinnamon
• dash ground ginger
• 1/2 c. dried cranberries or raisins (or both!)

Mix together by hand.  Ball up.  Bake at 350 for 9-11 minutes.

So, there.  I’ve shown you my balls (recipes).   Are there any balls that you are particularly fond of?  Share recipes here!

Check Yourself: Accountability Check #1

I turn 31 this Sunday.  Bear with me, things are going to get a little personal.

I know that this is the blog where I give helpful advice on how best to achieve your goals, and how to keep your head about you in crazy derby space, and how to smash your training and nutrition.

I love doing those things.  But it is my birthday, and I’m going to be selfish and write a post almost entirely about me.  And goals.  And derby.  And training.  And accountability.

I had a list of things that I wanted to do by the time I turned 25.  And then when I turned 25, it was like, ‘I really wanted to do those things before I turn 30′.  Now, BAM, 31.   I made some pretty bold proclamations in a post shortly after I turned 30.

I said,

“Thirty is the year that I take that career into my own hands and try to make something of myself.  I am terrified, but thirty is the year that fear doesn’t stop me.  Thirty is the year that I have lots of new things to say to people I haven’t seen since high school. “

BIG PLANS.  Big words.  So, reality check:  How did I do?

Answer: Needs improvement.

I talk a lot about finding the bright spots and celebrating your successes. By and large, I think that’s the best way to keep yourself trying to get better each day. In the pursuit of a healthy lifestyle, keep moving forward. Don’t dwell on past failures.  Revel in the small wins.

I like to send positive messages.  I compliment people when they do things well.  I work to make my criticisms constructive and to deliver them in the most beneficial way for the receiver.  There is tons of social support in both fitness and derby.  It encourages people to try things they never thought possible.  I am convinced that a large percentage of the amazing things that happen in the gym, or on the track, happen because of a shared community ideal to push your limits and get better.

Positive self-talk and a strong community are great tools to use against your internal fear when it needs to shut up and get out of the way.

If you’re up against a wall (of blockers, or a metaphoric wall), thinking about how strong the wall is, and how you’ll never get through, and how tired you are is NEVER going to help you get through.  Find your people, talk yourself up, and just keep pushing.

So, why then do I mark myself as Needs Improvement if I’m all about positive messaging and relying on the support of your community?

Positive thinking doesn’t get you a free pass.

When you get down to it, positive messaging is a tool.  Community strength is a tool.  Self-help books are a tool.  Education is a tool.  Coaches are a tool.

You still have to take your tools and build something. 

Deciding to do it doesn’t make it so.  Putting it on your to-do list doesn’t make it so.  Even blogging about it doesn’t make it so (sigh).  Only doing it gets it done.

A good friend of mine always tells me to feel the fear, do it anyway.

That’s where I stumble.  And then procrastinate, and then say I’m working on my business, and then find all sorts of little things I can do to feel productive so that I can ignore the really big, scary thing (quitting my day job, so that I can ACTUALLY focus on what I love doing).

Which leads me to refine my steps to goal success:

Celebrate the small wins, but don’t lose sight of the big picture.  If you want to be a first-string jammer, celebrating your awesome blocking accomplishments will help you to be in a good head-space, but you still have to jam some jams.

Have a plan to get where you want, but not a plan that’s so locked into place that you can’t see opportunity.  Being deeply mired in the way that you think something will turn out often closes you off to other potential outcomes which may be even more amazing than the one in your mind.  Just like on the track, have a game plan, but be flexible.

I’m currently reading Small is the New Big, by Seth Godin.  In it, he talks about “Zooming”, which he basically describes as embracing change without pain, so that you can be open to all the opportunities that surround you.  Pain is inherent in change – just don’t dwell on the pain.  Example; a new training program will introduce you to new training stresses and you will be sore.  Do you focus on the looming soreness so much that you never get around to starting the program?  Or do you imagine how awesome you’re going to look/feel/be once you have some mastery of the program?  If you’re a zoomer, likely the latter.

Lastly – be accountable.  Which brings me back to my Needs Improvement.  I can post all I want as a fitness and derby advisor on the internet.  I can train clients every night and weekend, and every single spare second I have.  I can take every course and certification out there.  I can do all of that, and be reasonably happy about where I’m at.

But, if I’m honest with myself – I have to decide if this is my full-time job, and how I want that to look.  I have to put my goals out there and be responsible for achieving them.

In my year-end post, I listed some goals.  I didn’t give them deadlines or touchy-feely reasons, because putting information like that into the public sphere (instead of keeping it inside your head) adds pressure, both internal and external.  Now they get some:

• Finish my Precision Nutrition certification – BAM.  DONE.
• (new) Pass my Strongfirst Level 1 Certification – November 15-17, 2013.  I love kbs, I want to be the best teacher and practitioner that I can possibly be.  Strongfirst will help get me there.
• Develop a solid business plan (which goes hand in hand with really having a clear idea of what I want my business to look like) – September 16, 2013.  This isn’t just a random date.  My day job has a big event every September – this date lets me be involved, not leave them hanging, but clarifies an exit plan.
• Quit my day job – see above.  Also, maybe quitting isn’t quitting, maybe it’s going to part-time.  Or maybe it is quitting.  Either way, I’m going to take steps each day to clarify what I want, and grow in that direction.
• Captain the Tramps to a winning season – ending Oct. 2013.  This is likely my last season as the Tramps captain, I want more than anything to totally smash it.
• Solidify Plan B’s place in TCRG (and amongst other similar B-Teams) – ending Oct. 2013.  We’re a new team, with a new outlook, I want us to help the league grow and make a name for ourselves.
• Jam a full game as a primary jammer – April 20, 2013 – I’ve never jammed a full game, I think it would be awesome to try.
• Deadlift double bodyweight – KB training is my focus right now, and will be until after the SFG.  Deads are still a part of my training, but I’m pushing this one back to December 2013 – I’m currently at 195lbs, which is over 150% bodyweight, so I’m on the right track.
• Find a mentor – ASAP.  Like, yesterday.  Since I’m not super clear on what I want my life in fitness to look like, I am sometimes too quick to look past opportunities.  You know what I’m saying – it’s often easier to know what you don’t want than what you do.  I want to be more open to internships, guidance, any experience that lets me learn and gets me closer to knowing where I might fit in.

Those are my goals.  With deadlines.  And reasons to accomplish them.  Out in the world.

Social support doesn’t just mean cheer-leading.  Sometimes it means asking your friends what they did to get a little closer to their goals each and every day.

So, friends, what progress did you make today?

I Hate Mornings (or, How I Eat and Get Out the Door Without Becoming a Monster)

 

Garfield and I have a couple of things in common. First off, we both hate mornings. Secondly, we both love lasagna. Unfortunately (fortunately), now that I am a grown-up and am committed to building my business, I need to free up some extra time. And when better to do that than first thing in the morning? Ugh.

In the past, my mornings generally went like this:

• (starting the night before), I say to Slim as we’re going to bed, “I’ll totally get up with you at stupid early o’clock”.
• Stupid early o’clock arrives, I roll over and tell Slim to have a good day, that I’ll see him in 10 minutes, and hit the snooze button. (This was actually progress, since initially, I would just reset the alarm for an hour or two later).
• I hit the snooze again.
• I hit the snooze again.
• I hit the snooze again.
• Slim leaves , I drag my sorry ass into the shower to wake up, get dressed, boil the kettle, drink tea, leave for work.

This type of morning did not leave me with the sort of energy and sense of accomplishment that I’d like to start my day with. To be clear, I have NEVER been a morning person. My parents used to have to drag me out of bed as a child, in University I scheduled classes in the morning so that I wouldn’t just sleep the entire day through.

To manage this paradigm shift, I had to do a few things. Let’s refer back to Switch – I had to direct the rider, motivate the elephant, and shape the path. To shape the path (or change my environment), I became accountable to more than my alarm. Nowadays, when Slim wakes up, he bugs me until I actually get out of bed. Another way to shape the path would be to move the alarm clock to Slim’s side of the bed. We haven’t done that yet, but it would work.

Next, to direct the rider (or appeal to my logical mind), I gave myself a morning task to accomplish. I don’t train optimally in the mornings, I’ve tried, I just get cranky, so that couldn’t be the thing I did every morning. Instead, each night, I make a list (surprising!) of the tasks I’d like to complete and have them ready for me tackle in the morning. If they’re there staring at me, the desire to get them done will override the desire to snuggle in bed.

Finally, I needed to motivate my elephant (engage my emotional self). Lists are all well and good, but having random tasks on them wasn’t enough, since I didn’t actually care about accomplishing them. Without emotional engagement in the task, the snooze button/crap morning TV began to look more and more attractive.

I thought back to University, and even though I hated every second of the waking up early for class, once I was in the classroom I didn’t feel so bad. And by the time it was done, I felt like I’d accomplished more that day than my friends who were still tucked in their beds. So these days, I focus on my continuing education stuff every morning. First thing is when I watch videos, take online classes, study, and plan. I feel awesome when I can check things off my list before I’ve even finished my first cup of green tea.

Let’s recap: I wanted to make more time in the morning to get stuff done and feel good about myself. I am not a morning person. I changed my environment to help me along, I gave my logical mind a reason to get up and a task to accomplish, and I gave my emotional drive a reward (pride) to look forward to. Fantastic! I am most of the way to not hating mornings. Until the night that the dog barks for no reason for hours, or the time changes, or I was up late the night before.

I recently passed my Precision Nutrition Level 1 Coaching certification (for which I studied almost exclusively in the morning), and I learned a TON. One of the huge takeaways was the power of habit versus the power of intention. How many times have you decided that you were going to eat healthy/workout every day/start getting up earlier/etc. etc. only to be derailed when things get busy or you have a tough day?

I often have tough mornings.

Habits will carry you through (or drag you down) in the tough times. Don’t assume that your life will always operate under the best-case scenario; plan for things to get hairy once in a while. Take the time to ingrain healthy habits to replace less healthy ones, and you’ll be much better equipped to manage when things go pear-shaped.

To nail down my getting-shiz-done-in-the-morning habit, here are my actionable steps:

1) Wake up at roughly the same time every day (even if it’s a weekend). This helps more than you think it will. And you get TONS done on your days off, since you don’t spend half of it sleeping.

2) The Saturday Ritual (PN calls this the Sunday Ritual, but I have derby on Sundays) – Use whichever day you have the most time to commit to the task and give over a couple of hours to writing a menu, grocery shopping, and prepping your food for the week. You can chop veggies, cook proteins, make batch meals – like chili (or lasagna!), make dry mixes for shakes. Meal plans don’t have to be complicated, or detailed. For example, I have a shake for breakfast and a salad and a protein (usually eggs or cottage cheese) for lunch – I don’t really have to over-plan those, because they don’t change. Devote a couple of free hours that you would have spent on facebook, and you’ve got healthy meals for the week, and a WAY less stressful morning.

3) Eat Breakfast. I didn’t. For a very long time. I had myself convinced that breakfast made me feel sick and sluggish all day. So I just didn’t eat it. As I dug deeper into training and nutrition, I figured I should probably try a little harder to eat in the mornings, but it was so challenging to find the time that I’d end up just having instant oatmeal or a bagel. With no fruit or veggies. Or protein. So, not ideal. Enter the Super Shake. It’s an easy way to eat well in the morning that literally takes about 2 minutes. Here’s what you do:

In your blender, mix:

• ice – 1-10 cubes depending on the consistency you want
• a fruit – I like banana, it thickens up the shake
• a veggie – kale, swiss chard, spinach, pumpkin, sweet potato, beets (roast first), celery/cucumber (make sure to use less liquid because of the water content in these), greens powder
• a protein powder that you digest well – whey, rice, hemp, pea, or other
• a nut or seed – walnut, flax, hemp, chia, cashew, almond, nut butter
• a liquid – almond milk, soy milk, hemp milk, green tea, water
• a topper – coconut, cacao nibs, dark chocolate, oats, granola, cinnamon

Yummy shakes, all the nutrients you need, no brain power required. My fave – 4 ice cubes, a banana, pumpkin puree, unflavoured (or vanilla) whey protein, almond butter (or crunchy peanut butter), almond milk, cinnamon. IT’S LIKE PIE FOR BREAKFAST.

4) The Power of Proximity. If you want to make healthy choices, make them the easiest choices to make. I know mornings are where I fall down, so my green tea is the foremost tea on my shelf, my blender is right out on the counter, and I don’t have bagels, or instant anything, in the house any more. This totally works if your issue is not breakfast, but rather post-work or late-night snacks too. Just have the healthy snacks in plain view. Don’t have questionable snacks in the house if you can manage it. If you’re actually hungry, you’ll go for the easy (healthy) choice.

I’m trying to be a little less Garfield-ish these days. I’m still a grumpus when I first get out of bed, but I’m getting out of that bed with a plan, some steps to take, and sound morning habits to support me.

I’m not going to stop loving lasagna though. Case in point, here’s a PN coach’s recipe for lasagna using zucchini strips for noodles (scroll to Anytime Lasagna) – genius!

Fresh to Death: Three Things I Wish I’d Known When I Was Fresh Meat

TCRG just had its latest Fresh Meat intake on Monday. What a charming and enthusiastic group of girls! They came in all bright-eyed and hopeful for what was the first time on skates for some of them, and they all performed admirably.

Every time we have an intake, I hearken back to the days long, long ago when I was fresh meat, and didn’t know my ass from my elbow – but definitely fell on both of them – and I reflect on the things I wish I’d known.

Here are three things I wish I’d been told:

Hope Solo, From Nike+ Training

You Need to Train Like An Athlete

I’ll tell you what I told my new freshies on Monday – Derby isn’t the workout. Train outside of derby. Seriously. It will make a world of difference. This is probably the area that I get the most questions about since people know they need to cross-train, but haven’t a clue where to start. I’m a little reticent to give blanket workouts, since everyone has their own set of challenges, imbalances, and patterns. Your best bet is to find a trainer who knows a thing or two about bodies move, talk to them about your goals, and get them to write you a program. Or get a trainer to come up with an off-skates plan for your league. If that’s not the way you roll, no worries, you’ll just need to do a bit more research to find a plan that works for you. Try to get a professional to look at your form periodically though, there are few quicker ways to invite injury than repeating a faulty movement pattern over and over. Also, if something hurts (actually hurts – not is sore from exertion, learn the difference) – STOP DOING IT. Don’t keep plugging through something just because you think you have to be a bad-ass, pain is the body’s way of telling us something is up. What might be perfectly safe for others might not be a good idea for you (like I said, we all have our own challenges). Don’t ignore your body’s signals.

All of that disclaiming aside, here are a few key points to keep in mind when you get started with your cross-training and a basic plan to get you on your way:

In the derby, generally (very generally) our quads (the muscles on the front of your thigh that control extension at the knee, as well as flexion at the hip, along with your hip flexors) get crazy strong and muscular (hello, none of my pants fitting in the thigh anymore). Sometimes the left is slightly stronger (because you balance on it all the time turning left). Strong quads are great, but we need to encourage balance amongst the muscle groups, lest your quads take over everything. I wrote an entire post about training your glutes. Don’t neglect your posterior chain – it’s the most powerful mover in your body and you should give it some love.

When you start skating, oftentimes you find yourself with a host of new aches and pains (and bruises, but we’re not really talking about those), pay attention to them. If your low back is hurting, it could be that you need to work more on your glutes and hamstrings, it could be a lack of core strength, it could be something clinical. Track your pain and see if it gets better or worse as you get stronger. Bring a foam roller with you to practice, and roll out your shiz before (and after) practice – rolling out your calves often helps with shin splints, rolling out your quads often helps with posture.

When you’re training, if one side is stronger, only do as many reps of an exercise as you can do with good form on the weak side. On that note, meet yourself where you’re at. Don’t do exercises just because you think they’re cool, do them because they’ll give you the appropriate training effect. Don’t jump into something advanced before you are ready, there are tons of ways to regress an exercise (inclines, band assistance, lighter or no weights, smaller range of motion, etc.) – make sure you can perform the exercise with perfect form before you progress into a more challenging variation.

You can use a few simple multi-joint exercises – both upper and lower body, save time, and get a great training session. Here’s an easy template you can quickly adapt to a derby off-skates training regime. In any given session, you can include:

Upper Body Push – horizontal: eg.) push-ups, chest presses; vertical: eg.) military presses, push presses

Upper Body Pull – horizontal: eg.) rows – inverted, seated, alternating; vertical: pull-ups, chin-ups, lat pull-downs

Lower Body Squat Pattern – eg.) front squats, back squats, wall squats, goblet squats

Lower Body Deadlift Pattern – eg.) deadlifts, glute bridges, hip thrusts, romanian deadlifts (also kettlebell swings to a certain extent)

Lower Body Unilateral – eg.) split squats, step-ups, lunges, 1-leg RDLs, bulgarian split squats

Core – (I’m a big fan of stabilization here) – prone planks, side planks, woodchops, birddogs, get-ups

Agility and/or Endurance – I’m a big fan of interval training, going hard for brief spurts, recovering, going again. I find it carries over nicely into the energy systems you use in derby, takes less time overall, and is less boring than steady state cardio. Start with a working pace you can maintain and a challenge pace that is actually challenging. Be creative with your cardio. It doesn’t have to be treadmills and bikes – it can be sled pushes, swings, heavy carries, ropes, hill sprints, jumping, dancing – the only limit is your imagination (and your threshold for fatigue).

Pick 4-6 exercises, 3+ sets (depending on what you’re doing and what you want to accomplish), set appropriate rest periods – don’t skip them, have a dynamic warm-up, plan a cooldown, and go to town on your off-skates training!

Again, I restate – make sure you’re moving well, that nothing gives you pain, and that you have a plan. My most favourite advice, from the incomparable Grey Cook, ‘First move well, then move often.’

You Need to Eat Like An Athlete

(Hopefully) Gone are the days where your pre-bout meal was a slice of pizza and a large Coke. Poor nutrition all week will manifest in your derby performance, so it’s important to eat well. General sound guidelines (and I mean general – I am not a doctor or nutritionist, just someone who tries to eat well and help skaters to do the same):

Eat whole foods as often as you can, local or organic when you can swing it.

Eat lean proteins, veggies, and healthy fats (oils, nuts, seeds) with each meal.

Save your starchy carbs for post-exercise meals.

There are a raft of additional tools that you can use to help you dial in your nutrition, and to make sure that you are getting the energy you need to support your sport. I use (and love) Precision Nutrition – full disclosure: I’m a certified PN coach, so I’m a tad biased. If you struggle with this sort of thing, or are curious about nutrition – talk to someone! There’s so much nutritional information out there, some of which is helpful and some of which is bunk – instead of trying to sort through all of it, find a professional out there who can give you some tools.

The Trainers Critique You Because They Love You

I mention this because I am one of those trainers. I’ve had newly graduated meat tell me they thought I was picking on them. I’ve had girls break down because they think they’re never going to master a skill. I’ve had girls harbour negative feelings about trainers LONG after they joined the league. It’s a tough position – you are learning something new and challenging. The trainers are there to help you, not belittle you. We do, however, have to tell you when you are doing something that might be dangerous, and give you tips on how to refine your skills. If we’re giving you lots of feedback, it’s because we believe in you. If we’re only giving you negative feedback, it’s because there are more girls than trainers, and that’s all we have time to give. Know that when the trainers get together afterwards, we all talk about the great things you did and how far you are coming too. If you have an issue with the way a trainer critiques – talk to them. Let them know how to teach you best. We’re all in this to get better and bad-asser, so let’s help each other do it in the least emotionally-fraught way possible.

Finally, a couple of extra tips that make a difference in your Meat Experience:

Derby Takes Time to Change

Whenever you join a new organization, it’s easy to see the flaws. You have a fresh set of eyes, and you can see where people are dropping the ball, where there’s room for improvement, and where you can help out. I highly recommend only publicizing that last one. When new skaters come in with energy and the desire to pitch in wherever they can, managers love it. When new skaters come in with a laundry list of changes that should be made, we don’t love it quite so much. Have your great ideas, document them, and start work on a committee that interests you. Once you know a little bit about how the committee operates, and how the head of the committee likes to manage, pitch your idea – and say that you’ll do the work to implement it. This saves a lot of undue stress. We all want our leagues to be the best possible machine they can be – just sometimes the gears grind slowly, and you have to apply the grease gently.

Don’t Forget About the Things That Were Important Before Derby

Before you join derby, presumably you have friends, maybe a life partner, pets, a family, hobbies, a job. Don’t forget that these things exist just because you have a shiny new thing that you do. Derby will take up A LOT of your time if you let it, so have a plan to keep some balance. Make dates with your friends, family, and life partner and keep them. Try to keep things in your conversational reservoir that are not derby-related. People will want to hear about what you’re doing in derby – it’s a pretty cool thing to do – but don’t forget to ask about them and what they’re doing, they might be doing cool stuff as well.

Finally, The most important part of joining a roller derby league is finding your own way.

I can give you lots of helpful tips and tricks, but you need to learn who you are and where you fit into derby. There are lots of people ready and willing to help you along the way, just ask them. Vets aren’t as scary and insular as you think. They’re like bears – just as scared of you as you are of them. Most of us join derby because we’re social misfits to begin with – take the first step and introduce yourself to people you think you’d like to get to know. Come into derby with open ears, a willing spirit, and a determined heart and it’ll be no time before you find where you belong.